Saturday, 3 October 2009

Stand by your man (till you can stand it no more)

check out this advert a friend sent me (click on it & have a read)

Lysol as a 'feminine hygiene' product -this is a true advertisement.

Her husband is being indifferent towards her so she's told the cause is she pongs.

Lysol, toxic to fish & other creatures I'm sure, was a useful suicide tool, so the thought of using an old rubber bladder with hose filled with Lysol to flush out one's uterus & vagina is beyond me to find a singular word to describe my reaction.

Hopefully she knows to dilute it but if she believes this advert she's pretty bloody stupid.

Where Lysol can be very useful for her if hubby still won't let her sit on his lap and well, really her life is over. Forget turning to vodka or gin - a quick scull of everyone's household favourite, Lysol and her fame will be forever linked with poets and industrial leaders' wives.

Death by Lysol:

English poet, Charolette Mew in 1928
American 'singing' poet, Vachel Lindsay in 1931
Mrs Eleanor Lawson in 1921 (wife of the president of the Allman Gas & Machine Co USA)
and, of course it is the slow death favourite by the dispossessed and poor alcoholics.

Perhaps William Burroughs suggested using Lysol as a douche - although he was more into women using a popular brand of cola (can't remember which book - The Naked Lunch, Nova Express & Junky all merge into the same images of puss and disgust - hmmm, it was likely Nova Express, the most graphic of the 3 me thinks - I read them over 20yrs ago).
 Likely it was one of the promo men with a particular fear dislike of women that thought it would be good. Love and marriage is all about pleasing your man.
 (excuse me while I find a paper bag to yell/vomit into before committing gratuitous acts of heterocide)

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